I would like to learn how to use a lathe for cutting wooden baseball bats. Any ideas?
Tom: Well you need a lathe.
Charlie: Step 1.
Tom: And you need that Wonder Boy wood …
Charlie: That’s right.
Tom: … from The Natural.
Charlie: You got to wait for lightning to strike a tree.
Tom: And, that’s true, or you could just try and burn one down, see if it will fall.
Charlie: Yeah, but all kidding aside.
Tom: Just, working a lathe, that’s what they do.
Tom: I’m not sure what the specs are. I would definitely look up the specs. I know they have weight and I’m sure they have diameter. I know there are length, because when I played baseball we would have lengths stamped on the bottom edge of how long it was.
Charlie: Length, weight, right.
Tom: So, I would start with that. And with a lathe and start practicing. Wooden lathe work today is not something done by hand anymore unless you’re just in a garage. Everything is what we call CNC or 3D printers or … this stuff is being cranked out by computers now so …
Charlie: They can not 3D print a baseball bat.
Tom: Yeah, they can.
Charlie: No, they can’t.
Tom: They can 3D print anything.
Charlie: They can’t 3D print a baseball bat because it’s made out of a freakin tree.
Charlie: You can’t … What are you going to 3D print a tree and then lathe it down.
Tom: No, you …
Charlie: You can’t do it.
Tom: Yes, you can.
Charlie: This is the sanctity of baseball we’re talking here boy. Next thing you’re going to tell me …
Tom: You take a block of wood. Put it in the computer.
Charlie: Next things you’re going to tell me … we’re not going to have to roll the balls in Mississippi mud either, now come on.
Tom: Well, it will be done by a robotic arm.
Charlie: Stop. No.
Charlie: That’s the beauty of baseball.
Tom: We wouldn’t want to get our fingers dirty.
Charlie: Right, right. Baseball, not to be undone by stupid replays.
Tom: OK. Well. Ricky, I tried to answer your question.
Charlie: Don’t get me started.
Tom: But, we’ll move on now.
Charlie: So, Rick, that’s the deal, OK, so …
Tom: Get a lathe and don’t do 3D printing.
Charlie: And practice.
Tom: And roll in the mud.